swallowed word...

i do this often...
swallowing my word...

sometimes...
people just say out their word
directly...
comment on something...
judging..

i don't like that

being mock by friend few days ago...
i just say yes...
admit its my fault...
yes...
it is my fault...
since it was my fault i won't defense...
any word...
i'll just swallow it..
maybe laugh to cover up..
they might think i m not mature...
but i do know what i m doing..

also i hate the word 'i told u so'...
i understand when a person learn the lesson
when u say this phrase
it will be more hurt
its like already get punishment
still u want to throw a big rock


a friend...judging about my previous relationship
uses him as atm...
yes...its my fault...
it might just her thought n she split it to me..
i get her point, she's lecturing me
she care so she say it.

i learned the lesson already...
be independent
n still my close friend don't see
that i'm working hard on changing this condition
its quite disappointing...


i hope she could at least see
people's facing different condition
act differently
as well as the consequences..
example..
she got a gift from a friend
its very expensive
and she accept it

but i know she wanted it so badly...
understand this...so i wont judge
wont say a word about it

hope they could think as my point of view...
even though they don't understand
they are still bff...
i care about what they say
meant it or not...

a friend told me the world are not only about me...
agree...
in this universe
i m just a teeny tiny living things...
try to think more for others...
life is short...

learning to be happy go lucky...