negative thoughts

i have to get rid all those negative thoughts

again n again..

my mind is thinking about bad things only...

why cant i remember good things..

gosh!

calls..

its been many times i dunno who can or should call...
i have a bad habit, having phone with someone while i m driving..
to keep myself awake...
cuz most of the time i'm driving, i m too tired...


so used to...phone calls...
trying to be independent...

today...fetch my sis...i m extremely sleepy when i was driving
keep pressing the hp dunno who can i call...
dear has been to sabah for work...
dunno should call my gf or not..
they have their own things to do...
i feel bad to bother...

n think until the end
just reach home...
extremely tired...
it feels so bad when need someone to simply talk with
and i found no one...

sleepless night

haven't stop having nightmares dunno since when
i m too stress
until i can have few nightmares every night
i have trouble sleeping also...
every time went to bed i cant sleep...
i need a to cook a bedtime porridge with dear
only i can sleep...
n he used to talk until i sleep only hang up


i m feeling so insecure...
emotionally sick...
n quite serious


need something to de-stress

down

extremely down at the moment...
i cant do my job well..
my boss have high expectation to me...
n so do i..
i felt disappointed when i cant reach what i wanna achieve..
i m trying
fresh graduate and i m handling so many project on hand
n my heart recently are no longer here...
feel that maybe i should try other place...
polish my skills well before i handle anything
i m lack of experience...


have a small chat with my GTO (my lecturer who look like japan AV male actor) today
told him that i feel like quitting...
he asked i just work for fun then wait marry no need worry
left my husband to worry
replied him..
i wanna use my own money
what i earn
buy car
buy house...
with my own ability

that is my target...
car
house
trip

i m working as hard as i can to get it

the problem is...

i m not happy at all right now...

feeling pressure all the time

going to crazy soon...

stuck

i m stuck

totally have no idea...

who can i find t talk to

every year cny i m not that happy actually

i m emotionally sick

dunno whats the way to cure it

maybe i should go to the shrink

always....should say all the time a negative thinker

all this cause by something....that haunted me quite long

and it came back every year reminding me

wish i could just scream help...

amazing...i guess..

work in an in house company

as graphic designer

recently got strong feeling that

there's no such things as professional...

to every boss in the world

they just hope their staff are capable of many things..

in terms of that means... ALL IN ONE

i m facing excessive workload

quite confuse

title as graphic designer

but task included interior design, photograph, web page design, secretary or admin...etc etc

well...

they just don't get the point

of PROFESSIONAL

ID is quite out of my range

measurement all that

how m i going to do it when myself is blur?














a senior/junior became my colleague three days ago..

n she left today

without noticing, suddenly...

i think....

i m amazing i guess

she just came in for 3 days....n left d...

i m here almost 2 months ++

its really pressure...very pressure with those project

its been 2 months i m handling

hope i can get through all this

lost

totally lost...

not sure of my future

feeling insecure

what should i do?

there's many choice to made in life...

chose the career and hope it will went well...

so scared of being regret

宅!!!

很宅很宅

很少出门

要不就做工

要不就宅在家里

变宅女了

跟以前很不一样

很怀疑这个自己

也怀疑以前的自己